I am what I am...

A lot of ideas come up in my mind and vanishes as there were no existence of theirs. These days time and again I become restless and anxious. I just feel lonely even amongst my friends and colleagues and I become afraid of don't know what? In that condition I feel as I am not present there where I use to be and outside voices become cacophony. This state exists with me for a couple of hours only and then everything become normal as before (But how and why the whole process occurs, I don't know). Some of my friends say it happens with everyone (if it is, I am not an exception) and there is nothing to worry. But one of my very close friends suggested me to visit psychologist. Guys, tell me your opinions.

I don't want to continue working as I am doing these days and want a change but again don't know what else to do? It is not that I do not have options but I am still unaware about my other capabilities or say not sure about the success in other work. I am confused as many a times I find it appropriate to stay where I am. But at the same time, it is true that I would never be happy working here at least with the same profile. When my boss express his happiness on the success of channel, it doesn't excite me, rather I feel myself cheated, mocked and dodged. The politeness of my boss irritates me, his smile comes upon my face as a slap and his honey mixed words make me feel like being stabbed. Am I mentally sick to think and feel in this way? I don't know its answer, only I know the thing that I have started hating our top bosses (just opposite to the statement made by one of my very close lady friends). I am sorry to say but I feel that not only she, no one understands me, and worse thing is that they don't even try to understand me either.

When I say that no one understands me, I mean to say that none of my friends, colleagues or family members tries to see things as I do. I am not saying that I am always right but I think rationally and if you counter my arguments logically, I agree too. But what puts me off is the rigidity of the people and many of times this rigidity is shown by even my family members and close friends. I would add here that many a times I feel that I am odd man out in my close circle of friends. The reason behind my thought are many but mainly because of the differences of opinion over career, success and work I feel that I am not glued to the group.At the same time, it is not necessary that I would have the differences with every member of the group, but on many occassions, I feel living a false life with those people. I know that this is not their fault, but if I am what I am, is it my fault? You guys have to judge and I hope you will tell me. Thanks.